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"No One's Listening and That's Just So Lonely"- Justin Bieber Opens Up

Updated: Nov 13, 2020

Loneliness is a powerful and painful emotion that people are coping with worldwide. Loneliness can be caused by a variety of situations -- a break-up, bullying, involuntary isolation, the death of a loved one or just the feeling of being left out. Loneliness is an extremely powerful emotion that can result in a range of psychological problems. It's effects can be so powerful that it can cause physical problems and even death.

When people think about loneliness, most imagine a person sitting by himself with a sad facial expression but the truth is that people can feel lonely even when they are surrounded by others in public venues such as a party or even by friends and family at the holiday dinner table.

The song "Lonely" by the award-winning star Justin Bieber got released as a single on October 16 for his upcoming album "Changes". In the song, he describes the difficulty of having a public career while experiencing a very personal internal struggle. He felt trapped as he was criticized and blamed for some of his past actions "Everybody knows my past now Like my house was always made of glass.... They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid".

People are driven to avoid pain and move towards pleasure, even if this pleasure will last only a second like eating chocolate when feeling down. When people experience painful feelings or unpleasant feelings they tend to run to things that could provide them a distraction from those painful feelings and anxieties. That is when they will take drugs, drink alcohol, binge watch Netflix or obsess with social media and do anything they can in order to avoid dealing with themselves.

When Justin experienced painful feelings, the drugs provided him relief. He smoked marijuana for the first time when he was only 13 years old and when his pain increased over the years, he took harder drugs to keep himself distracted.

"There was a time when I was sipping lean. I was popping pills. I was doing molly, mushrooms, everything, and it was just an escape for me," Justin said. His drug use started as a distraction, but it got to a point when he became dependent on it in order to function. "I was waking up in the morning and the first thing I was doing was popping pills," he said.

Justin was looking for the happiness, love and stability that he never had had growing up. There were times when he was looking for them in all wrong places.

"I started valuing the wrong things in this business ... [and I thought] if I get this, I'll be happy. If I do this, I'll be happy," Justin explained. It got to a point when the little choices Justin made became this huge snowball and his situation became so bad that the security guards and staff checked his pulse at night to make sure he was alive.

Justin got into the music industry at 13 years old. It changed his life and he became a worldwide name. The popularity was so contagious that reporters named it "Bieber Fever." All of a sudden he got attention from millions of people screaming "I love you!" at public events. The "I love you" didn't come only from fans but from people that surrounded him and got close to him.

The problem was that a lot of them loved his lifestyle and money and not him. "Everyone telling me they love me, but turn their back on you in a second," Justin recalls.

In the "Lonely" lyrics, Justin describes the pain of not having anyone to call, no one to rely on.

“What if you had it all but nobody to call?

Maybe then, you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just so lonely."

Eventually Justin made a brave move. He chose not to let his past become his future. After being involved in many scandals, illegal activities and accused of immoral behavior towards his famous ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez, Justin made a choice to change his ways. I started doing pretty heavy drugs at 19 and abused all of my relationships. I became resentful, disrespectful to women, and angry. I became distant from everyone who loved me," Justin admitted on his Instagram post. After he experienced this emotional roller coaster that almost cost him his life, Justin decided to become someone who he could be proud of.

He made major changes in his life and one that didn't come easily to him. He stopped abusing his body, started taking care of himself, and changed his life. After he made this decision, it not only saved his life, but brought him the thing he always looked for -- love and stability -- which he found in the arms of his wife, Hailey Bieber. "It's taken me years to bounce back from all these terrible decisions, fix broken relationships, and change relationship habits," Justin said.

Justin understood that he could not change his past, but he could change the way he looks back on it. He takes responsibility for his actions and he learned how to look at himself and learn from different events in his life without feeling shame.


Hawkley, L. C., Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40, 218-227.

Hawkley, L.C., Hughes, M.E., Waite, L.J., Masi, C.M., Thisted, R.A., & Cacioppo, J.T. (2008). From social structure factors to perceptions of relationship quality and loneliness: The Chicago health, aging, and social relations study. Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences, 63B, 6, S375-S384.

Rokach, A. (1989).Antecedents of loneliness: A factorial analysis. Journal of Psychology, 123(4), 369-384.


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